We are in the worst time of this pandemic, and the holidays are upon us. It may be a tough time for some of us to feel grateful, and it can also be a time when we find gratitude for things we may have taken for granted before. In the Greater Good Magazine, Psychologist Nathan Greene talks about how gratitude can be complicated during times of struggle. “Gratitude can come from the experience of not having, too, in reflecting on what we did have in the past and what we hope to have in the future.” (more…)
A cheat sheet for dating in a digital world
Human beings are wired to be in relationship. Connection is fundamental to our wellbeing, and people who are in positive relationships are healthier mentally and physically. According to the Harvard Study of Adult Development, “Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives,” and the University of Utah, “Loving relationships make us happy, but they also keep us healthy. From improving our immune system and blood pressure to helping us heal quicker and enjoy life longer; a happy relationship is life’s greatest medicine.”Read More
Americans are having less sex
An active sex life is the accepted norm for American singles. Media is sexually explicit, sexting is common, and our culture is more tolerant of sex in a wide range of permutations. Yet, Americans are having less sex with each other than they were 10 years ago. There has also been a decline in sex and relationships among young people, and those who marry are marrying later. About 60 percent of adults under age 35 now live without a spouse or partner. (more…)
Are you Really There for Me?
Why are some couples so quick to respond to their partner with anger or defensiveness? How can we break the cycle of extreme arousal, pain and more wounding that some couples experience with nearly every interaction? “We can’t stop fighting,” I hear. “Everything turns into a major blow-up!”. According to Emotion-Focused Therapy’s theory, high reactivity comes from avoiding pain. (more…)
You may be familiar with the healing properties of practicing mindfulness. Thirty years of research has shown that it increases our ability to relax, reduces pain, increases energy, improves self-esteem and helps us cope more effectively with stress. But how often do we practice mindfulness in our relationships?
Mindfulness is giving full attention to the present moment, non-judgmentally. Imagine if you could be non-judgmental when hearing another person’s opinion, or concern, even if it feels like criticism or anger to you. (more…)