{"id":2408,"date":"2018-02-06T14:16:12","date_gmt":"2018-02-06T19:16:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.toryjoseph.com\/?p=2408"},"modified":"2022-03-14T20:04:04","modified_gmt":"2022-03-15T00:04:04","slug":"helping-teens-in-crisis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.toryjoseph.com\/helping-teens-in-crisis\/","title":{"rendered":"Helping Teens in Crisis"},"content":{"rendered":"
Recent teen suicides<\/a> in my hometown are bringing fear, shock, and sadness to the community. These tragedies now have parents and teachers looking for ways to talk to their kids about it, and at the same time, fears that they are helpless to prevent a crisis.<\/p>\n It\u2019s true that suicides have increased by 28% from 2000 to 2015. Suicide rates have always been, and remain highest among men. But, the most shocking increase is among girls ages 10 to 14. Where the increase in those five years is 200%. (Pain in the Nation, 2017, Trust for America\u2019s Health). Most of those girls have a mood disorder (clinical anxiety or depression), which is also on the rise. The national average is about 30% of students are saying that they are having feelings of depression.<\/p>\n Understandably, parents worry, since most teenagers at one time or another seem depressed, have mood swings, and feel left out. They can also be secretive, choosing not to communicate with parents. The difficulty for a teen is that she feels is alone in her feelings. Thinking that \u201cno one else is like this, I\u2019m the only one\u201d, which drives further isolation and not wanting to seek help, when emotions seem too deep to understand, and \u201cso different from everyone else.\u201d<\/p>\n Yet, there is much that we can do as parents and caregivers. There are societal factors contributing to the increase in teen suicide and depression. We can be aware of the challenges that every adolescent girl faces in 2018. Understanding what\u2019s going on in our society helps us foster resilience in our girls.<\/p>\n Some things that we can work to increase our girls\u2019 resilience:<\/p>\n Perhaps the crisis in teen suicide will help us to reassess the way we are raising our young people. The combination of stress, isolation and earlier physical maturity are making us re-evaluate what they need. On an individual level, there are a few changes we can make in our relationships and families that can make a world of difference in helping to protect our children from trying to escape their pain by ending their life.<\/p>\n\n
\nAn increased feeling of isolation among teens (and among all of us), leads to a feeling that no one can understand or relate. We know that pain decreases when we feel connected to another human being. Our brains are wired for connection. Parents often ask, \u201chow do I have a relationship when everything turns into a fight?\u201d First, is to remember that as parents, we still set the emotional tone. Our goal is to have separate boundaries, and a relationship of openness and equality. In a few short years, your teen will be leaving the nest! So, if we want a healthier relationship, here are some guidelines:<\/p>\n\n
\nIt may be that loss of sleep, not too much internet time, is what is plaguing our teens. Centers for Disease Control report that 70% of middle school and high school students don\u2019t get enough sleep, which contributes to poor mental and physical health, especially depression. Physical exercise, art, music, or walking\u2026.find ways to connect with your teen through play. If it can be unstructured, even better! Play helps decrease stress and exercise improves sleep.<\/li>\n
\nBe aware of early sexualization of girls. We can\u2019t avoid early puberty, but the fact that the onset is becoming earlier can be a risk factor. Age ten to fourteen is becoming more common for puberty among girls. The attention from boys, and having to make decisions about sex before they are emotionally ready for it, can make early adolescence an especially stressful time. She may feel that attention from boys gives her status, but emotionally and intellectually, she is not ready to be sexually active<\/a>. We need to help our kids build inner strength. It will help guide them to do what feels right, in spite of the external messages they receive.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n